Man Who Proposed With Virtual Ring Is Either Super Creative or a Cheapskate
The story goes a little something like this:
A man named Mihai and his girlfriend Miruna both loved playing the game Crime City on Google+, a multi-player online role-playing game that features "objects" players can purchase. He knew he wanted to propose, and contacted the company behind the game, Funzio, about making a virtual engagement ring his player could "give" to hers. On Christmas Day Miruna logged in, saw the ring, and said yes! Wahooooo!
Is it cute? Well, duh. It's definitely a personal, creative way to propose that meant something special to both Mihai and his fiance.
However, is it just me or is this, well, not romantic at all?
Call me old-fashioned, but I think that when a man proposes to a woman, it should be in the flesh. The vibe I get from Mihai's proposal is that it was 100 percent virtual. Who wants to call up their husband-to-be screaming telling them how much they love them? I know that I would rather plant a big fat one right on him then and there.
The new techy proposal fad is cute, I just don't think any way of popping the question is better than getting down on one knee, ring box in hand. To each his own. I'm hoping that at least she got an actual ring under the Christmas tree later that day!
What do you think of the Google+ proposal? Do you think this tech stuff is all just hype?
Loving the Husband More Than the Kids is Key to Good Life
I remember asking my mom when I was little who she loved best between me and my dad. "It's a different kind of love," she told me then. But the kisses she and my dad shared in the toy aisle, their constant holding hands, and their long vacations sans kids while we stayed with the grandparents told me otherwise. She loved my dad more. And I am so happy she did.
When a family is strong, mom does prioritize the marriage over the kids. But we live in a culture where kids come first. Or, as my friend recently said, "Since when did kids move from the card table at Thanksgiving to the head of the table?" Since when, indeed.
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Blogger Joanna Goddard addresses this in her blog and the result is very interesting. She spoke of a conversation she and a friend had after her friend saw writer Esther Perel, the author of Mating in Captivity, a book about sex within a marriage (and after having kids).
Goddard says:
Perel believes that there's a badge of honor among American women to not prioritize yourself or your marriage: It's all about the children. Without realizing it, she said, women can end up getting their emotional intimacy and physical satisfaction from their children, instead of their partners, said Perel. They give their babies tons of wonderful affection -- and then don't have anything left over for their spouse. The marriage can become an afterthought.
Um, yep. How many women do we all know like this? It's not their fault. And I don't blame them. But it's a problem. A huge one, in fact.
The fact is, in a family, if mom and dad aren't happy, ain't nobody else happy either. The marriage should be prioritized higher than anything else.
I see it in my own family all the time. When my husband and I are happy and loving with one another, our children are happy and loving with us. They want to get in between us and cuddle and they are much calmer. After all, the marriage is the foundation of the family.
Ideally, children are born from the love two people share with one another. They grow under the umbrella of that love and then they find their own loves with whom they will do the same. Romantic love is so different (thanks mom!) than the love I feel for my children. I would die for my kids, jump in front of a train for them, and move mountains to keep them happy. But my love for my husband is different.
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It's burning and passionate and sexual (one would hope!). It gets me through the hard days and sustains me when things feel low. Without him, the rest would fall apart. I know this, he knows this, and we both work very hard to maintain it. It's not easy. My love for my children is much easier and comes more naturally and takes less work.
So in that sense, yes, my marriage is priority number one. It's what made my family and it's what will stay after my kids fly the nest.
Is your marriage your first priority?
Written by Sasha Brown-Worsham on CafeMom's blog, The Stir.
Women Need to Learn How to Let a Man Be a Man (Whatever That Means)
I was raised, like a lot of girls who grew up in households headed by single mothers, to be independent. Self-sufficient. And not rely on a guy for a doggone thing, which was particularly easy to grasp since there wasn’t one around to depend on in the first place.
With no daddy to run to when my car made a weird noise or some knucklehead boy was bothering me in school, I learned pretty fast and early how to handle my business on my own. And I continued that do-it-yourselfness — which I picked up firsthand from my mama, who is the undisputed champion of the field — just fine, all the way through adulthood.
Fast forward a few years when I’m a grown woman raising my child on my own and trying to do a little dating on the side when I meet a guy who insists on paying for my meals when we go out and changing my flat tire when I discover one is down for the count on my hot rod.
I informed him that I’m quite capable of doing those things myself. The more he tried to do, the more awkward it made me feel. I didn’t want to be indebted to some dude for his stabs at chivalry, for one. I’ll be darned if I’m going to have a whole heap of favors some guy did for me hanging over my head so that, if we argue or have a falling out, he can dust them off and show them to me as a reason to be grateful to him? No thanks.
And for two, I’m not the little lady who can’t do for self anyway, so it just didn’t make sense to have someone fussing over the same duties I’d always been doing on my own.
When I’m in my house at night and an 80-leg tarantula goes hot footin’ it across my floor, who has to throw a shoe at it and scream up the adrenaline to off it? When the toilet overflows or the kitchen sink clogs up, who has to break out the ol’ tools and plunger to fix it? That would be me. So it seemed kind of pointless to call on or allow someone to play the fabled “man role” when it wasn’t a full-time position — at the time anyway.
Then my best friend, who is ever the delicate flower awaiting a Popeye to her Olive Oyl, reminded me that a guy has to feel wanted and especially needed. He has to be able to exercise his natural, inborn inclination to be a protector and a provider and a caretaker, and when he’s not allowed to do that, he’ll move on to another place where his contributions will be appreciated. In other words, let a man be a man, she admonished.
A new habit takes about what? Twenty-one days to fully take root in our lives? That one is still having a little trouble getting off the tarmac in my world, but I’m trying to fall back a little more and let The Man take the lead on things I know I can do myself, but need to give over to the guy I say I want to share a lifelong commitment with.
I’ll ask him questions every once in a while that I already know the answer to just so he can explain it to me — not to dumb myself down, fellow womanists, but just to let him know that I value his opinion and expertise. And he has proven himself to be especially handy since I hate, hate, hate math and he just so happens to be an accountant. If I never have to heavy lift another tip calculation or tax return, this man thing might not be so bad.
Do you believe men should be given certain roles to make them feel wanted or needed?
