FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
 The day finally arrived.   Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed,and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,it is certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you.
I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,  and we
have been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
The test is short, but you have topass it before you can get into Heaven.'
Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.
But nobody ever told me about any entranceexam.
I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough testas it was.'
St.. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three questions.
 First:What two days of the weekbegin with the letter T?
 Second:How many seconds are there in a year?
 Third:What is God's first name?'
Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says,
'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,tell me
your answers.'
Forrest replied, 'Well, thefirst one -- which two days in the week
begins with the letter 'T'?Shucks, that one is easy.   That would be
Today and Tomorrow..'
The Saint's eyes opened wide andhe exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not
what I was thinking,
but you dohave a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give
you credit for that answer.
How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
'How many seconds in a year?Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest,
'but I thunk and thunk aboutthat, and I guess the only answer can be
twelve.'
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?Twelve?  Forrest, how in Heaven's
name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'
Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there'sgot to be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd... '
'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though
that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to giveyou
credit for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name'?
'Sure,' Forrest replied,'it's Andy.'
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperatedand frustrated St Peter.
'Ok, I can understand how youcame up with your answers to my first two
questions,
but just how in theworld did you come up with the name Andy as the
first name of God?'
'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied.
'I learnt it from the song,ANDY WALKS WITH ME,ANDY TALKS WITH ME,ANDY
TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'
Lord, Give me a sense of humor.Give me the ability to appreciate a
clean joke,To get some humor out of life,And to pass it on to other
folks !
Bob Gaylord